Into everyone’s life a little rain must fall

And, on occasion, it’s not always in the form of precipitation. However, for tonight’s game, it was. We haven’t had enough rain this year, so Mother Nature decided to take a perfectly sunny night and throw some crap into it. It was a sparse downpour, lasting less than two full innings, but just enough to make it a wee bit damp and soggy, even slippery. A minor annoyance we could do without. The inclement conditions must be why we are still falling down a lot. Can’t be because of a lack of athletic ability, because we are all so full of it. Therefore, it must be the environment. Otherwise, ironically, it just might be because we are full of it. Doubt it, since we are all made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Unless you are not in touch with your feminine side, then it’s snips and snails and puppy-dogs' tails, and we’re back to blaming the environment. Like the rain, cyclical in nature.

Few mishaps during the evening and a few errant misadventures, so perhaps we should review some of the finer points of our game, Maybe not the game of baseball in general but, at least, the way we play it. Fielding balls. Still good idea to use your glove rather than various parts of your body. Both may effectively stop the ball, but the glove is the better choice and hurts a whole lot less. The exception may come into play when you can’t put the glove to the ball fast enough, decide to take one for the team and attempt to stop the ball with a choice form your vast assortment of body parts, but still best to be avoided. Might always need some of those parts later. Fielding grounders. They usually are extremely close to the ground, so it is best for your glove to at least come in contact with the same ground. If not, and you avoid using other body parts (see above), the ball will escape you grasp and make its merry way elsewhere. For those of us still unable to fully bend ourselves to touch the ground, you’ll have to figure out different ways to get your glove to the dirt, short of falling down.

Falling down. Best to be avoided. Although it’s easy to get down, more often than not it is harder to get up. And, even with a little rain, the infield never really gets that soft. You may not bounce, but you will make a definite thud. Out in the field, even with the grass, the ground will come up and bite you so quickly, no degree of cushion will help you out. Gravity can be a downer. If you do find yourself inclined towards a horizontal position, try to remember your fire training. Stop, drop and roll. Except forgot about the stop part because it is already happening. And the drop part, since you are probably already in the midst of it. But roll. Definitely try the roll part. It’s not the fall that will hurt you, but the sudden stop does. But, after decreasing the impact of the initial fall, try not to roll about too much, that would just look silly. Silly, yes. Unavoidable, perhaps. Humorous always. Heeding the umpire’s call. May not always like it, but no point in arguing the umpire’s call. Sometimes they may credit a brief discussion, but best to leave the field and talk quietly amongst yourselves. Sort of a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ thing. I tend to opt for open ridicule, simply for my own amusement. No worries though, as Sid, our ump is usually always right on the call. Usually. In any event, he’s the umpire, so even if he isn’t, he is. Tough to argue with that fact. Well, maybe not tough but, at the very least, futile. Move on, there’s nothing to see here.

Lastly, calling the ball. If you’re fielding the ball, best to call it, especially if there are other fielders about. You want to try and avoid physical contact with other members of your team, at least on the field. Off hours, you’re on your own. Or maybe you’re not. In any case, a simple ‘mine’ will suffice although other phrases have been known to be used. The most often used phrase appears to be ‘oh shit’, but that does not always effectively deflect the players away from your general vicinity. Unless it’s a line drive right into your glove, then forget about it. It happens too quickly to do anything but get your glove on it. Definitely want to review the paragraph about use of body parts for these ones.