Let the games begin

It started out as a calm gathering of mature adults, with good cocktails, a vast array of splendid appetizers and, of course, adults (although level of maturity varied, based on how judgmental you may be). However, this wasn’t your local church group and, as somewhat expected, things soon all went to hell. Not that fire and brimstone, suffering for all eternity hell (although some may have been subject to torment). It transformed itself into a hell of a good time with a hell of a lot of laughter and a hell of a lot of fun games. Well, just a few games, but they seem like a hell of a lot more. The evening was so humorous, it’s reminded me of the saying ‘it was so funny, I think I peed a little’. Except it was so funny, some may have wished they invested in a pair of extra gear. What you may ask? Depends (groan). For the uninitiated, those who do not know what they are missing, the premise was simple. Gather some members of the Palmerston CoEd Fun league (emphasis on fun), divide them into four teams and subject them to a series of 5 games, some with the most physical innuendo you could experience on a non-sexual level. Mix in a little booze, a lot of camaraderie, sprinkle with food, stir well, shake it about a bit and see what happens. Usually a lot of frivolity and hilarity is the welcome result. All that with the avoidance of permanent physical injury (this time, at least). Briefly, the games were as follows: RED SOLO CUP - six cups per team (red, of course) lined up on a table, which have to be removed from the table, using just a balloon and what you expel from your lungs. Sort of ’suck dammit, don’t blow’ in reverse. BUST A MOVE - balloons tied about everyone’s waist placed in a non-frontal direction, which then have to be popped by another coming up the rear. In theory, an individual effort, two at a time but, in our reality, a team effort that literally had everyone stampeding to the bar, even though no one was looking to order a drink. Never have so many rushed to pop something attached to another’s posterior. Slight pause to allow the ensuing laughter to conclude or, at least subject itself to a lower level. SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT - six bottles, lined up judiciously on the floor, that need to be knocked over. How? By a pair of pantyhose firmly affixed on one’s head (above the neck, like the bank robbers might do) with a rubber ball positioned in the foot, which must be swung back and forth to release the bottles from their vertical stance. Never has a pair of lingerie given so much to so many. SQUEEZE BOX - down on your knees, place an orange between your knees, squeeze slightly, get up, waddle a distance and drop it within the circular perimeter of a hula hoop placed on the floor. One always remembering to squeeze only slightly, as too much pressure would result in a juicy climax. Thankfully no fluids were exchanged in the instigation of this event. STUCK IN THE MIDDLE - a standard conclusion to the games portion of the evening, one involving a plunger and roll of toilet paper. The males position the toilet paper in a relatively obscure position between the legs, while the females do the same with the plunger. Being at opposite ends of the room, they must come together, with the females making all the moves and conjoin, inserting one into the other, then running the combined parts back to the finish line. Can remind one of several activities but unsure of what they may be. Some sort of household chore, perhaps.

And, for those, who stuck around to the bitter end, there was even a game of ‘Name That Tune’ from the social co-ordinator, songs that only a grandfather might faintly remember on a good day.

That’s it and it is usually more than enough. Although it always leaves those involved wanting for more. More what? Not sure, but definitely more something. Some things are best left to the imagination. The whole thing was won by some team called the ‘Trumpets’. Unsure who they were but fairly certain victory was tasted by everyone who attended the evening. Thanks go out to Sandy for dragging everyone together on a Saturday night, to Ray and Barb for hosting the event and to everyone for bringing a variety of incredible appetizers and snacks. That’s incredible, not inedible. The addition of the ‘re’ is what it is all about (groan). Thanks to all others that partook, assisted or otherwise laughed. Sure it involved a cast of tens.

Looking forward to seeing all you reprobates out on the field in a few months.